October 25th is National I Care About You Day, and the best way to show someone you care, is by learning their love language.
Since its publication in 1992, Capricorn Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” has helped stuttering romantics seek and speak that very love.
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Chapman argues that there are five primary expressions of love i.e. languages that human beings use to exhibit emotion and attachment. These languages are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. While all of us can get down with most of the above, each among us has a primary and secondary language that makes us feel especially loved, seen and valued.
According to Chapman trouble arises in relationships when we fail to “speak” the love language of our significant other. For example, a person who values physical touch and quality time will not receive gifts and compliments as signifiers of love but cheap overtures.
Learning the language of your partner, Chapman promises, will lead to “more laughter, more connection, more harmony.” While that sounds like an advertisement for MDMA or a tantric sex/yoga retreat, it also doesn’t sound bad at all.
I first heard of this fistful of languages from a couple’s counselor and while that relationship in question proved unsalvageable (blame it on cocaine and martyrdom being his primary and secondary love languages) the lessons of the book have served me well.
Don’t let the questionably designed cover stop you from exploring the languages. You can read more about the concept here. The ultimate aim of Chapman’s five language system is to help us connect with others and better understand ourselves, an aspiration shared by astrology. With this in mind, we invite you to learn more about how to speak love to each specific zodiac signs.
Keep in mind that within the birth chart, the moon and Venus are the primary indicators of attraction and attachment so be sure to read for these placements as well as your sun sign. Here’s to the pure pursuit, and multilingual approach to love and all its languages.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Love language: Physical touch, words of affirmation
Aries folk have famously short attention spans and a decidedly unsubtle approach to relationships. If they want you, you’ll know it and they want that hype returned, preferably at high volumes. These people need an outlet for their enthusiasm and confirmation from their partner that they are wanted in an immediate way, making physical touch their native tongue with words of affirmation coming in a close second.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Love language: Physical touch, acts of service
The ever present pangs of hunger and horniness that befall the Taurus disposition are alleviated by the languages of touch and service. Physical intimacy and assistance in kitchen prep or clean up translate to declarations of devotion for the people of the bull. If you’ll excuse the crudeness, feed them well and f**k them often and they’ll remain in the pastures of your passions indefinitely
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Love language: Words of affirmation
Gemini is ruled by Mercury, messenger planet of conversation and communion. Geminis are predisposed to processing everything through dialogue, especially their romantic relationships. They only feel real if they are accurately described and they only feel loved when they feel heard. Supplemental languages include gossip magazines, word puzzles, amphetamines and magic tricks.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Love language: Words of affirmation, physical touch
Cancers love deep; their devotion is second only to the omnipresent fear that their beloved will suddenly stop loving them back. To combat this, they need heavy petting and serious reinforcement of their hotness, worthiness and safety within the relationship. Allegiance required, blood oaths accepted.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Love Language: Acts of service, gift giving
Leo rules the fifth house of play and romance and natives are likely stake claim and claim fluency in all of the love languages. Hungry hearts all around. No one loves a grand gesture more than a lion and this can take the form of acts of service and/or (but probably and) gift giving. Leos have a regal bearing that requires routine offerings of trinkets, sonnets and offers to do the menial work so they might bask in their own magnificence.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Love language: Acts of service
Virgo are the uncontested doers of the zodiac, busying themselves with caring for others and themselves both because they rule the sixth house of service and because they believe everyone around them is inept at meeting their needs. Yet, Virgos go starry eyed, weak kneed and pants free if and when their partner manages to do something for them in the exact way they would have done it for themselves. Precision is their porn.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Love language: Gift-giving
Ruled by Venus, planet of love and beauty, Libra is the sign of partnership. Fittingly, natives define themselves through their relationships and the curation of their personal aesthetic. They prize pretty and appreciate partners that can provide for them emotionally and financially. Libras feel seen in a relationship when their style is honored with a meaningful gift they can consume or add to their material menagerie/sense of self. If it looks expensive, feels like velvet, smells like leather or tastes like a good year, it’s a go, folks.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Love language: Quality time, physical touch
Scorpios are keenly aware that time is the only non renewable resource in and on our inevitable march towards death. Thus, sharing time together mindfully and with minimal clothing and no interruption really speaks to the cave wall of their heart. Preternaturally suspicious, physical touch is also important to this ilk as earnest affection assuages their fears of betrayal.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Love language: Quality time
Sagittarius travels light and prefers love on the run. Oxygenated by the novel, archers build intimacy through shared experiences. Quality time for Sag is spent exploring an unfamiliar terrain, taking designer drugs and questionable detours, and debating the merits of Aristotle vs. Plato and/or Madonna vs. The Beatles. Secondary love languages for archers include off roading (literal or spiritual variety), bonfires and anonymous group sex.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Love language: Gift-giving
Talk is cheap to a Capricorn but tangible investment and good taste are not. Sea goats love things that last, and people that play the long game. Gift them a piece of jewelry from another century, hand hewn wool socks, large cap stocks, an OG edition of “The Fountainhead,” or a pilfered piece of the Great Pyramids and you’ll be primed to win their favor. Whatever offering you bring, make sure it is the best of the best as anything less will be perceived as failure to recognize their worth.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Love language: Words of affirmation, acts of service
A fixed air sign, Aquarians tend to intellectualize their emotions, leveraging logic over lust and calm conversation over heated exchange. Words of affirmation help them to feel seen and safe if not totally understood. Water bearers require solitude thus quality time is not a top priority but they do appreciate when their weirdo loner genius routine is supported through acts of service. Leave food outside of the lair and do the laundry while they ponder the infinite and they will love you forever, or for as long as the robot voice inside of them will allow.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Love language: Quality time, acts of service
Due to the influence of their planetary ruler, dream daddy Neptune, Pisces folk often idealize their partners and their romantic relationships. Through an optimistic but deeply cracked lens they see situations and (absolutely average people) as they could be rather than they truly are. Spending quality time with their significant other grounds them in reality. Acts of service with particular attention paid to practical matters; taxes, parking tickets, taking out the trash, IE all the s**t Pisces habitually ignores, ensures equitability in the relationship.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.