If you are a mother (or happen to know one) you know that everyday life as a mother is wonderful, challenging, scary and stressful – all together.
A mother’s life is full of disaster and usually in the form of sticky hands, spilled milk, stains, and piles of laundry.
And when you think you’ve finally got it all done, there’s always a new pile of dirty clothes or a new stain waiting.
It’s normal to feel that patience runs out from time to time.
Heather Duckworth is a mother who knows all this very well – but she also has a critical reminder for mothers all over the world, and they all need to see it.
Unfortunately, it was an unimaginable tragedy that led her to this insight.
Heather Duckworth is a mother like any other mother, but one thing makes her stand out.
She lost her youngest son several years ago and since then has been working hard to spread the important message with all parents.
Heather shared her story on Facebook under the title ‘The Blue Stain’. When you read the story you will immediately understand why it tugged at the heartstrings of so many people.
It all started when Heather picked up dirt from the floor that her daughter had left behind. There everything suddenly became clear to her…
Her daughter did her best to clean up the stain left from the foul play, but Heather naturally had to help and finish the job.
She was, like any parent, a little nervous about the situation. But when she cleaned and was angry in her heart, she suddenly remembered another stain…
A stain from 14 years ago. At that time, Heather had 2-year-old triplets as well as a 4-year-old boy. Her daughter was not yet born.
On that particular evening, she struggled to put her four sons to bed. With four boys at home, life was a non-stop tornado of activities and chaos.
She spent most of the holiday cleaning and looking after her boys – sometimes feeling like she was taking part in World War III.
“My hands were full, but so was my heart”.
As night fell that day, she remembered struggling to feed all four boys, while cleaning up their usual messes.
The kids turned on the music at high volume and ran around the house singing and dancing, full of energy as always. It was the last time for a long time that such an atmosphere was in the house.. for several
reasons.
During her chaos and difficulty putting the children to bed, she looked at the carpet and saw a large blue ink stain.
One of the children from the trio, Jacob, was standing close to her, broke a pen in his hand – and the ink spread all over the carpet. The ink also spread on his pajamas, his body, and other things in the
room.
Needless to say, when Heather saw this, she lost it. Her patience had run out.
“I got very angry and immediately took my son to the shower to clean him and my husband started scrubbing the stains on the carpet. Tears of frustration began to flow. I was so tired, and angry, really really
angry. I wasn’t angry at my son – who was as blue as a smurf – but I was angry at myself for leaving the pen where my little son could reach it”, said the mother, adding:
“We lived in this house for half a year in total, and now the carpet was completely destroyed. We scrubbed it for an hour that night, but the stain didn’t come out”.
Heather and her husband even hired a professional carpet cleaner, but that didn’t help either.
Growing frustration
The stain continued to annoy her, and she got upset every time she saw it.
“It pissed me off and made me feel like a failure for leaving the pen where my little boy could reach it. This blue spot was a negative spot in my life. I hated it”, Heather said.
But as her frustration about the stain continued to grow, suddenly, it was gone, in one life-changing moment.
The little boy who broke the pen that day was diagnosed with cancer. And two years after the diagnosis, Jacob passed away.
Jacob ascended to heaven, but the blue spot remained.
“It was still there…and now…it was a constant reminder of my son. It was a constant reminder of my frustration that I felt over something so trivial.. something so unimportant in this life”.
Heather now wants mothers everywhere to understand that little children will make a mess. Raising children can be frustrating and as they get older, parents face new challenges.
For Heather, the blue stain is now a constant reminder that life with children can be messy and dirty, but it’s definitely worth living.
It’s a constant reminder that there’s no need to sweat the small stuff. A constant reminder that ‘things’ are not important, people are.
A constant reminder that accidents happen. A constant reminder to let go of the little things and focus on what’s really important.
Heather calls the mess a ‘blessing in disguise’, and admits she would live with a million blue spots if it meant she could spend just one more day with her son.
She wants to remind mothers and fathers all over the world that they should not get excited or stressed by everything that is happening around them and forget to enjoy the little things in life that sometimes
seem frustrating.
Heather continues to clean, wash, scrub her children – but now, when she does it, she always remembers the time she spent in the hospital with her son.
It is so important to remember to focus on the important things in life and not get frustrated when the kids make a mess, even leaving permanent ‘blue spots’ behind.
Dirty pajamas, a smurf face and big stains on the carpet are just proof that we did something right along the way. We had children.
Click like and share Heather’s words if you agree with them!
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